


28

by ShinMeiko



Category: No Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:34:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27595544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShinMeiko/pseuds/ShinMeiko
Summary: [Congratulations, you found one of the thirteen endings!]Start over?
Comments: 13
Kudos: 11
Collections: Interactive chapter





	28

“Why would you come back to see the play? It’s not like it was this good,” I say.

“There were some good parts.”

“Bram… even you can’t be that nerdy,” I say. I meant it as a joke, which was already awkward because I don’t know him that well, but it came out very patronizing.

“Maybe I just wanted to support you,” he offers anyway.

That really annoys me. “Why? Because I’m the poor guy from lunch who was outed? I don’t need your pity, Bram. We’re not even friends.” That was uncalled for. Especially after being the one inviting them to stay. I’m a dick. I know I am. And I can tell from his face that I’ve hurt him.

But I can’t care about losing Bram’s friendship before it even started, because I am losing Blue and that is so much more important.

“Si?” Leah says, and I hear in her voice that she doesn’t understand or approve of my behavior. You know what? I should just end this shitty evening now.

“Yeah. Sorry, I… I’m getting home.” And I leave before any of them can ask me to stay. Not that any of them would want to.

As I’m getting ready for bed, I get an email notification from Blue. My heart skips a couple of beats. Finally. Could it be that this evening will be a good one in the end?

FROM: bluegreen118@gmail.com

TO: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com

DATE: Jan 25 at 9.37 PM

SUBJECT: Carnival

Simon,

I want you to know that I came. I was terrified, I wasn’t ready, but I came. Because your words were wonderful, and they were finally the proof more than the hint that you wanted more, that your interest for Blue was more than friendship, and I wanted that. I wanted us to find each other tonight.

But here is the thing, Simon: as much as I love your written self, and as much as I am drawn to the real you, this feeling isn’t mutual.

We met tonight. And I tried to tell you who I am. I really did. But you weren’t prepared to listen. So I don’t think you like me. I think you like having a confidant to share things with, and that this person could be anyone willing to listen.

Then again, maybe I need to take a look at myself too. Because I let myself fall for you and I don’t actually think that you are the person I thought you were.

This was heartbreaking, but maybe this was for the best. We have been there for each other in moments of doubt, and this is something I will always treasure. But I am not who you want, and I think this online thing is trapping us both, keeping us from moving on.

So I am letting go, Simon. I am deleting this email address after sending this. It’s for the best. You know it’s for the best. I don’t think we are that compatible anyway.

Thank you for all you have done for me, it was more than you realize. And sorry we never found our balance.

Bram.

So… I don’t know if I believe in karma or not, but I definitely deserved that one.

Blue came for me. He did and I was an awful jerk to him.

I am obviously mortified, but I decide not to panic, not to be sad, not to feel sorry for myself. I did enough of that today and that wasn’t productive. Instead, I will spend every waking moment making it up to Bram.

Maybe not until I get him back, that might not be possible anymore, but until we are friends again. Or, at the very least, until I am sure that there is no part left of him that feels bad because of anything I told him tonight.

Yes. I will do just that. I won’t feel devastated, although I am, instead, I will give back to Bram every ounce of happiness he ever gave and then a little more…

I will bring Jacques and Blue back…

**Author's Note:**

> [Congratulations, you found one of the thirteen endings!]
> 
> [Start over?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27567391)


End file.
